Yesterday night was a terrible night,hasn't been able to fall asleep,i spend the whole night thinking about lots of stuffs....,such as what my life purpose really should be ?,what should i do when i finish my Ns...,these questions really hit me hard...,i still can't find any thing in my category to the answer,im too lost right now,and may be its time i start seraching for the answer le ba,its about time,i don't wan to feel lost animore,this feeling had followed me for 15 yrs...

Remembering what life is.....
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Finally back in singapore le,actually im back onli yesterday at 12 am,the 1 week there was very fun but there are also things i expected,alot of things happen,such as Chinese new year celeberations,gatherings,and alot more,the most special 1 was me expressing my love to the someone i know for quite long,she is quite special,although she is kind of boyish,lol,but seriously,no girl has ever make me love her soo wholeheartedly ,though i gt rejected twice,juz thinking about it makes me think that im so silly,haha,not only did i make things worse,but also worsen our friendship le ba,i think,cause we haven't been talkin to each other since i reach kl,but there's every risk in the things we do rite?,i believe every guys out there also knows ,juz an advice from this professor lee here to guys/girls out there,is that always do not hesistate to tell the girl/guy u like wat u think about her,cause u do not know wat might happen to u the next day,and may be u may lose that chance to do it,alot of regrets will be with u as u go....,but don't feel sad or wateva if you are rejected,because loving some1 does not always mean the start of a relationship or and ending of ur life purpose,the feeling will soon fate aways as time moves,plus there are many people out there,there should be 1 at least u can find better ,like they say,where there's a will there's a way,so give youself sometime and also give others an opportunity ....,among all my relatives this "someone" make me most worried about,though not as a ".......",but as a friend,hope she take care of yourself...~

Remembering what life is.....
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Woah,how fast...,its already been 3 days since my last post...,it seems like a few mins instead of 3 days pass,it scares me how time moves,i heard that my cousins once told me that each year the time increase by 4 mins,don't know if the theory is right,but im kindda convince,haha,well..,tml school reopen le,realli looking forward to go back to school tml,don't have to be bored and alone at home,and a few more days after tml will be chinese new year and i will be back in kl le,but donno y,these few days i feel kind of lost,since i break with my ex,its like my purpose in life is gone,i still remember that i used to tell my friends last time,that my purpose in life was my ex,but now since erything is over,im kindda of lost,my life became empty like the past again...,so empty that this feeling that i feel so familiar suddenly became soo strange,and i couldn't get used to it anymore,may be as i grew older,i began to fear loneliness more and more,may be i really old le ba,haha,sometimes i wander when my 2nd and last love of my life will come,soo sad,during these periods im gonna become my oldself again....,oh god plss help me....,lol,for now i juz go on with my life ba....

Remembering what life is.....
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Hahaz,time really flies,its been 3 to 4 weeks since my cousin's wedding,and chinese new year is just around the corner....,so happy,can receive my favourite red packets again...,haha,but don't know why,since this few days ,i still feel soo stuffy in side my heart,can't describe the feeling,its neither missing someone nor sadness,but this feeling is so familiar,may be one day i could truly know what this feeling is .....,may be by that time i may find something that i did not expect,from the source of this feeling,argh...,soo frustrating,anyway ,tml me and my classmates will be going on a trip to tamasek poly,i wander what it would be like,feeling tired le,can't wait till tml....

Remembering what life is.....
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Today my girlfriend ask me to break with her,the reason?,well,she says that we don't look like couple,but more like friends,i cannot say no,cause there is no happiness this way,forcin each other,so i respected her decision and i also agree,but i wasn't very sad about it,only a little,but couldn't get use to it without her,because we have been dating abt 1 year le ba?,it may seem as short to others but in these periods ,many memories will kept,its the longest and happiest period of time ,but wat more can i say,or do,as long as she feels this is ok,and is happy,well i will be happy too,ahh,wat a tough week...,still have 3 more days to the weekends,juz hope that time moves faster,let me forget all these sorrows....

Remembering what life is.....
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Another day past~~,and i still have 3 more days till school reopen le,nervous?,some people may ask,well not that nervous anymore,but alittle sad but also happy,sad may be because i still have a feeling in my heart that had never dissapear for 3 yrs,but im used to it now,happy because its a new year,and a time for things to change,unhappy nor sad,as it may seems,life still has to go on till it reaches its final stop,may be until than,would there be peace,not again will there be sadness and sufferings~,and also the feeling that had never fade away can finally dissapear from my heart,haha,am i writing a poem,mad...,hope new changes can be made this new year,and hope to meet more friends,haha. -End-

Remembering what life is.....
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2005 was a veri special Year,i spent the last month with my relatives from kl there,things were soo fun ,though it will only two weeks,but those times seem to fly by soo fast,well thats wat pple say,happy times sure pass by fast,sad as it seem,but at the same time,i learnt alot,and was happy ,and even was invited to my cousin Sister wedding,most importantly will my 2 cousins,who will closest to me since childhood,Amanda and Adrian,though we onli get to meet a few times a year,due to our difference in enviroment,Malaysia and Singapore,though those times seem fast,but the amount of things that happened were uncountable,i juz hope my cousin sister and her husband will live happily ever after,although i may miss them alot,i have things to do in Singapore,including tryin to adapt my normal life back in my sg home,well,since its a new year ,juz hope that this year,may all pple do well in wat they are doing ,and may all lovers around the world stay happily ever after

Remembering what life is.....
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